Table of Contents

Just Call Me Stinky

The Answer, My Friends, Is Blowin’ in the Wind

Hey, What’s That Thing in Your Nose?

Boy Does Your Brain Smell

Garlic, Onions, Brussel Sprouts and Broccoli

Smelly Armpits and the Bacteria Who Love Them

Toe Cheese and Stink Foot

Cow Pies and Horse Poots

Holy Halitosis, Batman!

Dead Deer and Other Unlucky Animals

The Sweet Smell of Success

Glossary

Learn More

Index

Chapter 1: Just Call Me Stinky

Howdy Partners!  Stinky Pete’s my name and bad smells are my game.  The author of this here book has sent me and my faithful side kick, Ol’ Smelly, to be your official guide on a rip roarin’ tour through the fascinating world of bad smells. Today we’ll be talking about stenches strong enough to make your eyes water and nose hairs curl.

What stinky smells am I yappin’ about?  Well sir, just take a look around you.  Foul smelling things are everywhere.  Why, you can see some right here on this page.

Finding stinky things is pretty easy.  What’s harder is answering the stinky questions.  When you cook onions and broccoli, why do they stink up the kitchen?  Why is the smell of a dead animal attractive to a vulture but disgusting to you and me?  And why does your morning breath smell so bad that your mom runs screaming from the room?  Hee-hee-hee, well, ol’ Stinky Pete knows the answers to all of these questions, and I’d be happy to share them with you!  Now ain’t that right nice of me? 

So, stench-lovers, let’s saddle up our steeds and head out. On today’s journey we’ll visit the most disgusting smells west of the Mississippi River.  More importantly, we’ll learn how and why things stink!  Giddy up, Smelly!  Pee – yew!

Chapter 2: The Answer, My Friends, Is Blowin in the Wind

Whoa, Smelly, whoa!  Here we are on the outskirts of a big city.  A big city means lots of people and lots of people means lots of garbage.   I know there’s a big ol’ garbage dump just over that hill ‘cause I can smell it.  Peee – yewww!

 Now how is it that I can’t see the garbage dump, but I can still smell it?  Well sir, if we’re going to answer that question, we’ll need to learn a thing or two about chemicals and molecules. 

 Let’s start with the chemicals.  Everything from a peach to a pillow is made of chemicals.  Some chemicals are smelly or odorous.  For example, both ripe bananas and rotten eggs contain odorous chemicals.  However, ripe bananas contain a chemical that smells sweet and pleasant while rotten eggs contain a chemical that smells gross and disgusting.

 Well now, odor molecules are the smallest parts of odorous chemicals.  This is true for all things containing smelly chemicals, from fragrant peaches to reeking sneakers.  Invisible to the eye, tiny odor molecules float off stinky things and are carried into the air. 

Although you can’t see air, that doesn’t mean it’s empty.  On the contrary, the earth’s air is made up of tiny gas molecules too small to be seen.  That’s right, they’re invisible!  Sneaky little things, aren’t they? 

Well folks, the air around us contains billions and billions of gas molecules.  Perhaps you’ve heard of gases like oxygen and carbon dioxide.  In the air around a garbage dump there are also millions of invisible odor molecules rising up from stinky chemicals in spoiled milk, dirty diapers and moldy meatloaf.  Constantly moving gas molecules in the air spread the odor molecules around, and on a hot summer day like today, the odors sure are strong.  Pee-yew!

One stinky chemical found in a dump is ammonia.  Ammonia comes from old baby diapers and used kitty litter, among other things.  Its odor molecules smell very unpleasant.  It’s a good thing we perceive its smell as unpleasant because ammonia is harmful to your health.  Tiny amounts of ammonia in a wet diaper can irritate a baby’s skin.   This is known as diaper rash!  When there’s lot’s of it around, ammonia irritates your eyes and makes them water.  It can even burn your lungs if you inhale it.  So an old diaper’s stinky smell is like a flashing yellow light signaling “caution, danger ahead!”   Let’s high tail it out of here!  Giddy-up, Smelly!